Sharon Mead, LMFT

Cultivating loving Relationships
Certified Emotionally Focused therapist
(408) 502-6381

Free 30 minute phone consultation

Why Premarital Counseling

The most obvious reason is that it is much better to prevent problems than to try to solve them later.

30% improvement Research shows Premarital Counseling and Education lead to as much as a 30% improvement in marital satisfaction in the first few years.  Since divorce is most likely in the first few years of marriage, that means a lot.

What you don’t know can hurt you because it can come around the corner and smack you in the face when you least expect it.  Issues like how many children, how to spend money, your goals in life … Unless you ask all these questions, then you don’t know what you don’t know.  Preparing for your marriage helps you be prepared for the tough issues that come up in life.

What you don’t know how to do can hurt even more.  If you don’t know how to resolve disagreements about life’s big issues, how to seek comfort from your mate and how to repair after a fight, your marriage can fall apart.  You need strong connection skills to maintain a strong and healthy relationship throughout life. 


In the first meeting, we’ll discuss your goals for pre-engagement or premarital counseling, answer your questions, and develop a customized plan to fit your needs. 

We will talk about

  • Your previous experiences in relationships including childhood.
  • Your separate and joint life goals and values
  • How well you understand each other
  • Issues that often cause difficulties in marriage
  • How you handle conflict

I will help you have a detailed conversation about the practical realities and common pitfalls that you will face in your life together.


If you are already having times of discord or distance, we will work to develop a more secure bond that will help you avoid some of these and make repair faster when you do. 


Warmth of being together

Premarital Counseling and Education

What to expect in premarital counseling

Getting married

Even contemplating getting married will change your life forever.  Even if you have already been living together, being married is different - otherwise, why do it?  You may have put a great deal of thought and preparation into the day of the wedding - who will be there, what you will eat, what everyone will wear. Have you put that kind of practical thought into your marriage?

The wedding only lasts a day.

You hope for your marriage to last a lifetime. There are a lot of things you may not know about your intended - things that haven't come up yet.

  • What will it be like to be a part of your partner's family?
  • What did you each learn about fighting and making up when you were children?
  • What did you each learn about parenting?  How many kids? Any kids?
  • Are there events in your partner's past you should know?
  • How will you handle money?  Who decides about purchases?
  • How much time should you spend together?  What is too much or too little?
  • What do you know (not assume) about your partner's deepest hopes and dreams for your lives together?  Can you dream together?

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