Cultivating loving Relationships

Sharon Mead, LMFT

Sharon Mead couple and individual therapy
call for marriage counseling or psychotherapy

What to expect in couples therapy

 

Connection and communication skills

You may want to improve your communication skills, but first you need connection so you can hear each other.

What I won’t do:

  • give you special phrases to use with each other.
  • give you homework -- no one likes homework!
  • help you figure out who’s right.

The fact is you are both right in your own context, but it isn’t safe to open fully to the other person.  

How I will help

You will be safer to explore the issues that you haven’t been able to talk about productively at home. 

We’ll slow things down so you can discover

  • the patterns that are repeated from fight to fight
  • how reactive emotions and interactions take over 
  • your unexpressed and softer emotions and needs 

Experience is a powerful teacher

With new experiences you will

  • be fully heard and hear your partner
  • interrupt the patterns that keep you apart
  • see your patterns as the enemy, not the one you love.

Once it is safer to speak to each other from a more vulnerable place you will be able to come closer to each other and resolve problems much more easily. You will be able to turn to each other for comfort, celebration, and love.

Does couples therapy work?

 

Emotionally Focused Therapy is very effective.

 

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is based on a new science of changing intimate relationships.  EFT has been proven effective in 25 years of research. 

  • 70% of couples move from distress to recovery
  • Most couples maintain their gains after completion of therapy.

The most important indicators of success are

  • how well we can work together (alliance)
  • agreement on the goal:  a secure, bonded relationship
  • commitment to improve the relationship

Emotionally Focused Therapy works well:

  • even if you are frequently arguing or in conflict
  • even if one of you avoids talking about feelings

“We are, at last, building a science of intimate relationships.”

Susan Johnson, PhD

Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on the needs we all have for love and acceptance – our attachment needs --  especially from our romantic partners.  The science includes new information about how the brain operates under the stress of disconnection and the protection afforded by a safe trusting relationship.

Couples Therapy

Dr. Sue Johnson, Soothing the Threatened Brain

hold me tight

Hold me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

by Dr. Sue Johnson

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